Media headlines sometimes blast romance fraud victims for being duped by ‘ridiculous’ impersonations of celebrities, or sending money to someone they’ve never met in person. But victims are usually tangled in a web of coercion, or may be particularly vulnerable to online predators. It’s fraudsters who deserve our derision, not victims.
Here, we explain the tactics they use – including the seven signs that you’re dating a scammer – and how to get your money back.
Who is at risk?
The anonymity of the internet means romance fraudsters can lurk anywhere. Dating apps seem the most obvious, but many hide behind fake social media profiles on popular platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and X, or even gaming apps.
It’s tricky to get robust data on cases and losses. The gulf between figures published by Action Fraud – a self-reporting tool – and official banking industry data suggests that many romance fraud victims are too ashamed to tell their banks, or don’t have faith that they will be able to get their money back.
A report from trade body UK Finance stated that romance fraud victims lost £36.5m (across 4,160 cases) in 2023, while Action Fraud figures put losses at £88.3m (8,608 cases) that year.
Fake ‘Brad Pitt’ and other AI celebrities
Fraudsters will use any tools at their disposal to deceive victims. These days, that includes artificial intelligence (AI), as Laura Kankaala from cybersecurity software provider F-Secure explains.
‘They can easily create images, video or audio fakes using AI tools that are available either for free or are very inexpensive. We recently saw how a French woman was scammed out of €830,000 after believing she was dating Brad Pitt online. The images were created using AI – some of the images even depicted a fake Brad Pitt holding a piece of paper with the victim's name on it.
‘The problem with AI is that it takes away one of the last ways we had to confirm that someone is who they say they are online. Video calls and images can no longer be trusted as a way to confirm someone's identity online as they can easily be faked. Anyone can pretend to be Brad Pitt, or someone they are not, on the internet – and it's getting increasingly difficult to ascertain what's real or fake.’
Find out more:Romance fraud red flags
It may be nigh-on impossible to know for sure what you can trust on the internet, but romance fraudsters tend to follow familiar patterns.
More often than not, they will attempt to shift the conversation to a different platform quickly, in case they are being monitored and lose their original profiles. They may suggest you continue chatting by text, email, or messaging services such as Google Hangouts, Signal, Telegram and WhatsApp.
Some are willing to play the long game, though most attempt to establish an emotional connection quickly. Excuses to ask for money will typically pull at your heartstrings, such as needing money to pay for medical bills or buy equipment to avoid losing their job.
They won’t hesitate to fabricate extreme events or family deaths to manipulate you; for example, one romance scammer reported to Which? claimed to live in Strasbourg and care for an aged mother in Quebec. He had lined up his victim over weeks, but she was already suspicious. She expected him to ask for the airfare, but he opted for a different tactic, calling her on Skype totally out of the blue to claim that his mother had died.
‘He said he had 3.5m euros coming to him from her will. He sent me 'copies' of her death certificate and will, claiming he had to get various forms completed to release the money and he only had three days. He asked for £10,000.’
Others will pretend they desperately want to visit you and need help paying for visas and travel costs. They’ll have jobs that mean they are conveniently unavailable to meet in person. Examples taken from recent scam reports to Which? include a fake UN doctor, a fake British soldier from Edinburgh claiming to be away at a conference in Florida, and a fake US soldier working in Ukraine.
Sign up for free emails‘I was ‘love-bombed’ by a crypto scammer’
Scammers may also try to steal your money by sharing spurious investment advice, as Sarah (not her real name) discovered last year after meeting someone on a dating app for vegans.
‘He very soon asked me to continue chatting over WhatsApp. I was 'love-bombed'. He claimed he was successful at investing and convinced me that it would help me pay my bills. He invited me to join a crypto trading platform and encouraged me to deposit funds from my Revolut account, asking me to convert it into bitcoin first.’
Revolut asked Sarah various security questions designed to alert her to potential fraud when she made the initial transfers, but the scammer coached her through them, assuring her that these were standard.
‘He said he would get them all the time, and that he would help me answer. I was highly vulnerable, undergoing post-cancer trauma therapy. I filed fraud reports with Revolut, the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) and Action Fraud. They have all been unsuccessful.’
Find out more:Getting your money back
You should always report romance and other fraud losses to your bank or payment provider; however, protections vary depending on how you paid.
If you were tricked into transferring money from your bank account to one controlled by a criminal, this is known as authorised push payment (APP) fraud and, thanks to a new mandatory scheme, you may be eligible for reimbursement.
Following years of Which? campaigning for better fraud protection, this scheme kicked in from 7 October 2024 and applies to all firms offering Faster Payments – the system for electronic payments sent directly from one bank account to another.
It only covers transfers to UK accounts, so if you send money to a scammer using an international account, you are not protected. Your claim may also be denied if there is evidence that you were particularly careless or 'grossly negligent'.
The Payment Services Regulator (PSR) has said it expects the majority of victims to be reimbursed, and vulnerable customers are not subject to the gross negligence test. The maximum you can claim is £85,000 (multiple payments associated with the same scam may be considered as one claim). You may be asked to pay £100 (the claims excess), though firms can choose to waive this and they are not allowed to ask vulnerable customers to pay it.
Regardless of how you paid, report all fraud to payment providers so that they can investigate and block malicious accounts. If you aren't happy with its response, escalate your complaint to the free Financial Ombudsman Service (FOS) as it will consider all rules, relevant codes of practice and good industry practice when assessing your case.
Find out more:Getting support
Lisa Mills, from the charity Victim Support, says: ‘The psychological and emotional impact of being deceived by someone you trusted deeply can knock your confidence and sense of self-worth enormously.
‘If you have been a victim, you are not to blame and you are not alone. Romance fraudsters are highly skilled manipulators who successfully target thousands of people every year. Get in touch with Victim Support for free, confidential support via our 24/7 Supportline or live chat service.’
source https://www.which.co.uk/news/article/romance-fraud-hit-99.4m-in-2024-here-are-7-signs-youre-dating-a-scammer-avu9z2G7yuCh